Family Story

Family Story

Cruise Fun with Charli! Episode One: Douche-Bag Hunting

Setting: Cruise ship cabin

Panel A: Me looking at my sister, she's sniffling and tearing up, obviously upset.

Panel B: I am thinking, my sister is getting more upset, the tears are about the flow.
Me: (thought bubble) "What's a fun, normal way to cheer up my sister?"

Panel C: I am throwing my arms up in the air, I have a great a idea!. My sister looks a little less upset, the upset that has left is now replaced with confusion.
Me: "Let's go douche-bag hunting!"
Cathy: "Wha...? Why?"
Me: "Because...."

Panel D: I stand there, smiling with my hand on my hips. There are twinkly lights about me and Cathy's tears are gone, looking at me with puzzlement.
Me: "It's important!"
Cathy: "What are you talking about...?"

Panel E: I am dragging my sister along my her hand, her feet aren't even touching the ground.
Me: "I'm gonna show you how to identify douche-bags because it'll make you happy!"
Cathy: "...really?"
Me: "YES."

Page Two

Setting: Cruise ship deck

Panel A: Cathy is standing with her arms on the banister. I hide behind a pillar wearing a safari hat. We are on the hunt.
Me: "Look! Two over there!"

Panel B: Two guys are walking. They wear heir hats backwards and have popped collars.
Me: (offscreen): "They have douche-bag written all over them"
Cathy: 'It says Abercrombie..."
Me: "Same thing."

Panel C: Cathy looks at me as i carelessly toss my safari cap aside.
Me: "But THESE are the tell-tale signs!"

Page Three:

The entire page is a diagram of a 'Douche' with arrows and explanations.

The Basics of a Douche Bag:
- Backwards cap (usually the stupid 'worn and torn' kind)
- Perpetually, but undeserved, smug expression
- Popped collar, the classic Douche Bag sign
- Wears two shirts. Not necessarily a Douche Bag thing, but it still bugs me
- Polo shirt that is Abercrombie &Fitch, Hollister or any other 'tool' store out there
- White or plaid shorts
- Stupid flip-flops
- Will swagger; practiced and perfected
- Confident for no reason; in the stupid way

Page Four:

Setting: Cruise deck again

Panel A: I talk with my sister
Me: "Now, a quick tutorial of the other types of creatures we will observe!"

Panel B: Insecure guy looking at his clothes.
Me: "The Poser: Note the air of insecurity and ungeled hair."
Poser: "Is this too much 'pop' in my collar...?"

Panel C: A giddy girl parading around in a skimpy bikini.
Me: "The Skank: Skimpy and likes attention."
Skank: "Ooh! Lookit me! I'm wearing a bikini! Lookit my boobies! Lookit!"

Panel D: Fashionable girl with a disgruntled look.
Me; "The Bitch: Borderline Skank, but filled with hostility towards all other females."
BItch: "Whores, whores, whores, whores, whores...."

Page Five

Panel A: Cathy still staring at me, I'm smiling.
Cathy: "So... what are we?"

Panel B: I stand there silent, smiling at her.

Panel C: Cathy stares at me while i stand there proudly arms outstretched.
Me: "I'm a JERK!" "And you're the apprentice!"


Dream Adaptation

So.... I have really creepy dreams.

Writing the Graphic Narrative: Dream Adaptation

Page One:

Setting: Dilapidated, dark house. The walls are in such a state that the pipes poke through in some areas. There are rust stains all over, the floor is dark and stained with god-knows-what. cobwebs coat everything and the dim orange lights flicker weakly. The stairs a missing parts of banisters and are uneven and pried up in places. It's a pretty unpleasant place.

Panel A: Close up of my face, lying on the floor. Only one eye and hand are visible. The eye is open slightly.

Panel B: Pans out more so more of the environment is visible. My eyes are open and surprised.

Panel C: Pans out more, I start to get up.

Panel D: Getting up, holding my head.
Me: "Ugh.."

Panel E: I look up

Page Two:

Panel A: Upwards shot, of me looking up at the rest of the house. It's expansive, multistoried and full of stairs.

Panel B: A hand grabs me by the wrist. The hand is stained, the finger tips bloody, the nails bend backwards, like they had been scratching trying to get out.
Man: "..you...!"

Panel C: Me looking towards the hand gripping my arm, the hand is still in the foreground .
Man: "The key..."

Page Three:

Panel A: Downwards angle of the man grabbing my arm. He is a young man dressed in a business suit. He could have been a Harvard graduate were it not for his ragged, bloody clothes, crazed eyes, disheveled hair and cut and bruised face.
Man: "You must have it..."

Panel B: The man jumps up, arms outstretched. I fall backwards.
Man: "Give it to me!"

Panel C: Hands are clawing at my face.
Man: "The key! The key!"

Panel D: One hand is pulling down on my lower jaw, while the other is pushing up on my upper jaw, like he's trying to rip my head apart. He's pushing so hard that my front teeth are sinking into his palm.
Man: "Give my the key!"

Page Four:

Panel A: The struggle continues. My arms and legs are kicking as he tries to pry my head in two.
Man: "You must have it!"

Panel B: I finally get a hit in, square in the nose. There is a sickening crunch, and his eyes roll back.

Panel C: The man falls back, eyes blank, a thin stream of blood arcs from his bloodied face as he falls.

Panel D: Man is dead on the floor. His face is bloody and it is evident that his nose was shoved into his brain. Lucky shot.

Page Five:

Panel A: Shaking, I scoot back.

Panel B: I turn and vomit.

Panel C: Shot of the man's body on the ground.
Me: "...the fuck just happened...?"

Panel D: Gripping at the wall, I hoist myself up, shaking.
Me: "I've go to get out of here..."

Panel E: I stumble down a hallway.
Me: "I need out..."

Panel F: I disappear farther down the hall.

Page Six:

Eight panels of me trying to open various doors. All of them are locked.

Page Seven:

Panel A: Close up of hand, the knob clicks. It's open!

Panel B: I have entered the room. I take a breath, and lean back, the door closes.

Panel C: The room is not empty, though. I am in the foreground, over my shoulder you can see a woman standing with her back towards me.
Woman: "I... have the key...."

Page Eight:

Panel A: Woman with her back turned to us.
Woman: "I know it's here somewhere..."

Panel B: Close up of my face, eyes widening in horror.
Woman: "But I just can't find it..."

Panel C: Woman turning to face me. Her face looks calm, slightly lost, but otherwise normal. You can still see mostly her back, and her arms are in front of her, holding something. Her elbows are dripping red.
"I know it's here..."

Panel D: She's turned around, one arm reaches towards me, her other arm holding her intestines.
"I know it."

Page Nine:

Panel A: Her hand reaches out and grabs my arm.

Panel B: The woman plunges my hand into her pile of bloody innards. I am paralyzed by fear.
"Can you help me find it...?"

Page Ten:

Panel A: Shot from behind me as I try to pull away. She grips my arm tightly and will not let go.
Woman: "Find the key!"
Me: "Let go!"

Panel B: Close up of the woman. Her eyes are crazed. The eerie calm that she had when I first entered is gone, replaced by desperation.
Woman: "Help me get it out!"

Panel C: Wide shot. She lets go, my hand flies away from her as soon as possible.
Me: "Let go!"

Panel D: Woman stares at me, swooning, feebly cradling her organs.
Woman: "You're never going to get out."

Panel E: Worms eye shot, woman's body in the foreground. I'm standing over her, horrified.

Page Eleven:

Panel A: Woman lying on the floor, her innards strewn about.

Panel B: I try the door, it locked itself.

Panel C: I look down at the woman.

Panel D: Shot of my hand reaching forward, her organs in the foreground.
Me: "Oh god..."

Panel E: Shot of me from the back, on my knees, elbow deep into the corpse.

Panel F: I hold up a small, simple key. My hands are covered in guts, my face stares in disbelief.

Page Twelve:

Panel A: Trying the lock.

Panel B: Me standing with my head bent downwards.
Me: "Hehehe..."

Panel C: Top down shot, I am slumped over, my head against the door while my hands still grip the knob.
Me: "It's the wrong key..."


Layouts and Stuff

These are the layouts I use before I write the script. I plan for how many page, where the action is going to take place and so on and so forth. The first set is for "The Diamond Necklace" and second if for "Snow White"

For the Snow White story, I was originally going to have the Queen framed for the murders of seven villagers after Snow runs away. But, it seemed too long and I thought that the ending I ended up with turned out better.

This is the one for "The Diamond Necklace." The script follows this exactly, no deviation.


Fairytale Adaptation: Snow White

Fairy Tale Adaptation for Writing the Graphic Narrative

Snow White

Page One:

Setting: Inside a cathedral. A wedding has just taken place, the court is assembled and everyone is rejoicing.

Panel A: The court is assembled, it is the end of the ceremony. You can see the King and his new bride at the front of the altar.
Priest: "...May the new Queen live long and be loved by all"

Panel B: King with his hands on a young girl's shoulders. She is in her early teens, about thirteen or fourteen. She is a very beautiful young girl, but with cold eyes and a blank face. The girl is deathly pale, with snowy blonde hair and clear blue eyes.
King: "Darling Snow, we are a family now. Be good to her, because she is now your mother."

Panel C: Close up of the girl. She looks up, her eyes hollow.
Snow White: "You are not my mother."

Page Two:

Setting: Various places around the castle

Panel A: New Queen with Snow White. The Queen is making an effort to talk to the girl, all she does is stare.
Queen Narrating: "And for a time, i tried to be a good mother to her..."

Panel B: Snow looking back, Queen in the foreground walking away, looking slightly frustrated.
Queen NArrating: "...but there was no helping that girl."

Panel C: Queen giving Snow a puppy.

Panel D: Snow staring blankly at the puppy in her hands.

Panel E: Bloody remains of the puppy strewn about the floor.

Page Three:

Setting: Queen's bedchamber.

Panel A: Queen coming her hair, we see her from the front. Something lurks in the doorway behind her.

Panel B: We see the Queen from behind, her reflection in the mirror. She looks up and sees show standing there in the doorway, hands dripping in blood.

Panel C: Queen turns around, panicked. There is no one there.

Panel D: Head in her hands. Walking towards the bed.
Queen: "I need sleep..."

Panel E: pulls back the covers to find a mangled animal corpse.

Panel F: Screams echoing in the hallway.

Page Four:

Setting: Queen's bedchamber again.

Panel A: Snow white in at the vanity in the Queen's room. She is holding a comb, and a bottle in the other hand. Snow is pouring the contents of the bottle carefully onto the teeth of the comb.

Panel B: Snow stops because she can see the Queen from the mirror on the vanity. The Queen watches in horror.

Panel C: Close up of the Queen. She looks horrified.
Queen: "That... That's poison!"

Panel D: The Queen rushes towards Snow.
Queen: "You mean to kill me!"

Page Five:

Setting: Queen's bedchamber

Panel A: Bottle of poison crashed to the ground.

Panel B: Snow is running down the hallway. The Queen runs after her, looking panicked, slightly mad.
Queen: "Don't let her escape! Grab her!"

Panel C: Maids come to the Queen as other watch Snow flee. The servants look terribly confused.
Queen: "She's evil! She means to kill me! We can not let her leave!"

Panel D: Snow riding away from the castle on a black horse, a billowing cloak around her. Screams of the Queen echoing from the castle.
Queen: "Get her! GET HER!"

Page Six

Setting: Forest

Panel A: People riding through the forest.
Queen Narrating: "They searched high and low for that 'poor, scared girl' "

Panel B: King sobbing.
Queen Narrating: "I lost favor with my husband. Rumors swirled that it was I who was trying to poison the girl."

Panel C: Queen donning a riding rood.
Queen Narrating: "So I tried harder than anyone to find her, to redeem myself and bring her back, unharmed."

Panel D: The Queen in the forest with her search party. Seven men are with her.

Page Seven

Setting: Woods

Panel A: Queen on a horse, looking around. Search party behind her.

Panel B: Girl in a shroud approaches the party with a basket of apples.
Girl: "If I may be so bold, I offer these meager refreshments to you, Your Majesty"

Panel C: Queen holding an apple, while the girl passes them out to the men. Some are already eating.
Queen: "We thank you for your kindness, young lady."

Panel D: Queen takes a bite.

Panel E: Queen in the background, with the apple still at her lips, with a single bit out of it. The men in the foreground are starting to hack and cough, some spitting up blood.

Page Eight

Setting: Forest

Panel A: Queen throws apple, while clutching at her throat. The men around have fallen.

Panel B: The horse the Queen is sitting on rears up, the Queen is falling. The girl is seen standing in front of the horse, probably the one who spooked it.

Panel C: From the Queen's point of view, the world looks hazy. The girl is standing over her, pulling back her hood, revealing long blonde hair.

Panel D: World goes black.
Snow White: "You are not my mother."


Script for Writing the Graphic Narrative

This is an adaptation of the story "The Diamond Necklace" by Guy de Maupassant

Page One:

Setting: Paris, 18th century residence. Interior of a nicely furnished middle class home.

Panel A: Mme. Loisel and M. Loisel are sitting down to dinner. Mme. Loisel looks bored and discontent.

Panel B: M. Loisel hands Mme. Loisel a card with a smile.
M. Loisel: "I have something for you."

Panel C: Close up of card in Mme. Loisel's hands. It's an invitation to a very fancy party.

Panel D: Mme. Loisel, looking incredulous.
Mme: Loisel, "And what am I to wear?"

Panel E: M. Loisel looking taken aback as Mme. Loisel berates him.
Mme. Loisel, "I have rags! I have no gowns, no jewels!"

Page Two:

Panel A: Mme. Loisel, head in hands, sobbing.
"I will be humiliated..."

Panel B: M. Loisel, looking upset at seeing his wife so sad.
Mme. Loisel, "Give this invitation to some college who's wife is better equipped than I...."

Panel C: M. Loisel standing over his upset wife, hand on her shoulder, trying to console her.
M. "How much would it cost, a suitable gown?"

Panel D: Close up of M. Loisel, his eyes wide.
Mme: "I don't know exactly, but I could manage with four hundred francs..."

Panel E: Mme. Loisel hugging her husband in delight.
M. Loisel, "Very well-"
Mme. Loisel, "Thank goodness!"

Page Three:

Setting: A tailor's shop, then her wealthy friend's home.

Panel A: Mme. Loisel holding up a fancy dress, admiring it greedily. There is a tailor in the foreground counting money.

Panel B: Fancy gate posts in the foreground, Mme. Loisel walking towards them, holding a package (her dress, presumably)

Panel C: At the door of the fancy house. A woman dressed in wealthier clothes is clasping hands with Mme. Loisel.
Mme. Forestier: "How good it is to see you again! Come in at once!"

Panel D: Both ladies sitting in a fine parlor. Mme. Loisel's back is to the audience, and in the foreground. We can see Mme. Forestier.
Mme. Loisel, "... And so I was wondering-"
Mme. Forestier, "Oh, of course! Choose anything, my dear."

Panel E: A counter top filled with jewels.

Panel F: Close up of Mme. Loisel's hands picking up a diamond necklace.
Mme. Loisel, "I choose this..."

Page Four:

Setting: At the ball. Very fancy.

Panel A: Mme. Loisel entering, M. Loisel behind her, not looking as haughty. People are staring at Mme. Loisel who looks quite beautiful in her new gown.

Panel B: Mme. Loisel is the center of attention, M. Loisel is seen in the very back, looking bored.

Panel C: Mme. Loisel in dancing. M. Loisel is sitting a table, picking at the cloth.

Panel D: M. Loisel is asleep, in the foreground. In the middle ground, there is a grandfather clock with the time, it is four in the morning. Mme. Loisel can be seen in the background, still soaking up the attention.

Panel E: M. Losiel coming up behind Mme. Loisel and putting her plain shawl around her shoulders. He looks very tired, she looks surprised.
M. Loisel, "It is very late."

Page 5

Setting: Street of Paris

Panel A: Mme. Loisel looks down in shock at the plain, commoners shawl around her shoulders.

Panel B: Mme. Loisel runs for the exit, covering her face.

Panel C: Outside, Mme. Loisel is in the foreground, visibly upset. M. Loisel is running after her.
Mme. Loisel, "I cannot be seen in these rags!"

Panel D: M. Loisel with her arm in his hand. Mme. Loisel looks dejected.
M. Loisel, "I'm calling a cab, we're going home."

Panel E: Mme. Loisel getting into the cab, M. Loisel waiting behind her.
Mme. Loisel, "You embarrassed me.."
M. Loisel, "It's too late for this."

Panel. F: Carriage riding home

Page Six

Setting: Back at their flat.

Panel A: Entering the home. M. Loisel in the foreground, very tired, untying his tie. Mme. is hanging around the door, looking miserable.

Panel B: She catches her reflection in a mirror. The diamond necklace is gone.

Panel C: Mme. and M. Loisel panicking.
Mme. Loisel, "It's gone!"
M. "What? Impossible!"
Mme. "I had it on at the Minister's house!"
M. "Then it must have fallen off in the cab.. or on the street!"

Panel D: M. Loisel running out the house, still putting his coat on.

Page Seven

Panel A: Thin panel, silhouette of roof tops, sun is rising.

Panel B: M. Loisel coming in the door, Mme. Loisel in foreground, biting her finger nails.
M. Loisel: "It's gone..."

Panel C: M. Loisel with his hands on Mme. Loisel's shoulders.
M. Loisel, "Tell her the clasp broke, to buy us some time. There is another one like it... It's worth forty thousand francs."
M. Loisel, "But-But we only have eighteen thousand! We're ruined!"

Panel D: M. Loisel at a shop, buying the replacement.

Panel E: Mme. Loisel giving back Mme. Forestier the replacement one.

Page Eight:

Setting: Streets and various places around Paris.

Panel A: The Loisels selling all their possessions.

Panel B: The Loisels walking down the street, forlorn with one parcel each.

Panel C: Living in squalor.

Panel D: M. Loisel doing manual labor.

Panel E: Mme. Loisel cleaning floors.

Panel F: Mme Loisel is clearing off a table of dirty dishes, she is filthy and has lost her beauty.
Off screen voice: "My dear, is that you?"

Panel G: Mme Forestier looking at Mme. Loisel in shock. Mme Loisel is mortified to be seen this way.
Mme Forestier: "My goodness, how things have changed!"
Mme. Loisel, : "I have been cured with poverty since last i saw you. This is because of you!"

Page Nine:

Panel A: Close up of necklace
Mme. Loisel, "That necklace I borrowed- I lost it!"
Mme. Forestier, "No, you brought it back!"

Panel B: M. Loisel signing lots of papers.
Mme. Loisel, "We have been forced into debt to pay for another necklace just like it."

Panel C: Mme. Loisel, looking a little smug.
Mme. Loisel, "We picked out a good replacement, you never knew the difference."

Panel D: Mme. Forestier, hands to her mouth, looking upset.
Mme. Forestier: "Oh... you poor thing!"

Panel F: Mme. Loisel looking stricken. She just received the news her hardship was in vain.
Mme. Forestier, "My necklace was a fake. It was only worth five hundred francs!"

Four Panel Comic for Writing the Graphic Narrative